the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
