just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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