you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
