wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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