I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
