I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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