Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
