dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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