Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
