i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
