I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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