i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
