have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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