i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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