Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize