my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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