Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
kristin has been a bad kristin
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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