She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
