Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
