Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
