Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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