i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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