I think I am morally bankrupt
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
