i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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