Jerry, you need to find god
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
