You can't special order awesome
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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