just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
