i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
