I just threw up on my dentist
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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