I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
