sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
