If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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