In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
