Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
