No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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