Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
