I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
