no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When did angry sex become our thing?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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