No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize