I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
