I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
