Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
