I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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