the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
