I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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