Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
