I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
