Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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