I wanna passion pit in your ass
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
