dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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