They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
