her vagine was all disorganized.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize