got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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