Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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