Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
