Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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