we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
