Your mouth is God's brothel.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
