Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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