She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
