white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize