Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm getting married
To pizza
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
