it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
