I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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